So happiness - isn't that the thing that all of us strive to find and keep? Nobody is happy all of the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others. Studies on what makes people happy reveal that it doesn't have much to do with material goods or high achievement; it seems to whittle down to your outlook on life, and the quality of your relationships with the people around you.
Steps
1.Be optimistic. No matter what happens, good or bad, the effect on our happiness is only temporary and we tend to rebound to our baseline level. Some people have a higher baseline happiness level than others, and that can be attributed in part to genetics, but it's also largely influenced by how you think. So while the remainder of this article will help boost your happiness, only improving your attitude towards life will increase your happiness permanently. Here are some excellent starting points for doing that:
2.Follow your gut. Now, some of our decisions are more crucial than picking out posters, but by the time you're poring over your choice, the options you're weighing are probably very similar, and the difference will only temporarily affect your happiness. So next time you have a decision to make, and you're down to two or three options, just pick the one that feels right, and go with it.
3. Make enough money to meet your basic needs: food, shelter, and clothing. Any money you make beyond that will have negligible effects on your happiness. Remember the lottery winners mentioned earlier? Oodles of money didn't make them any happier, and it won't make you any happier. Once you make enough money to support your basic needs, your happiness is not significantly affected by how much money you make, but by your level of optimism.
Your comfort may increase with your salary, but comfort isn't what makes people happy. It makes people bored. That's why it's important to push beyond your comfort zone to fuel your growth as a person.
Don't assume you're the exception, as in "Sure they didn't use their lottery money wisely, but if I won it, I'm spend it differently, and it'd definitely make me happier." Part of the reason many people are unhappy is because they don't think research-based advice about happiness applies to them, and they continue chasing more money and achievement and material goods in vain.
4.Stay close to friends and family. Or move to where other members are- so you can see them more. We live in a mobile society, where people follow jobs around the country and sometimes around the world. We do this because we think increases in salary will make us happier, but the fact is that our relationships with our friends and family have a far greater impact on our happiness than our jobs do. So next time you think about relocating, consider that you'd need a salary increase of over thousand of money to compensate for the loss of happiness you'd have from moving away from your friends and family.But if your relationships with your family and friends are unhealthy or nonexistent, and you are bent on moving, choose a location where you'll be making about the same amount of money as everyone else; according to research, people feel more financially secure (and happier) when they're on similar financial footing as the people around them, regardless of what that footing is.
5.Stop expecting your job to make you happy. Many people expect the right job or the right career to dramatically change their level of happiness, but happiness research makes it clear that your level of optimism and the quality of your relationships eclipse the satisfaction you gain from your job. If you have a positive outlook, you'll make the best of any job, and if you have good relationships with people, you won't depend on your job to give your life a greater sense of meaning. You'll find it in your interactions with the people you care about. Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't aspire towards a job that'll make you happier; it means you should understand that the capacity of your job to make you happy is quite small in comparison to your outlook on life and your relationships with people.
6.Smile. Science suggests that when you smile, whether you feel happy or not, your mood will be elevated. Moreover, studies show that happiness is contagious. With this in mind, consider the implications for happiness that the very act of smiling at another in passing has on not only our psyche, but that of the larger good. More importantly, when we smile at another, it shouldn't be with the expectation of having a smile in return. Sometimes the people we are smiling at who don't return the gesture may be the ones who need the smile the most. Just the act of doing something positive -- sharing a smile -- might be enough to send our neurochemicals in the right direction, regardless of the response.
Tips
Just because something seems to make other people happy doesn't mean that it really does. People are very good at pretending they're happy, especially when they've invested so much into the things that are supposed to make them happy; it's hard to admit that you've been placing all your eggs in the wrong basket.
Timeless Secrets of Happy People
1. Forget the pastOne of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.
2. Take responsibility for your life
The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.
To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent.
But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.
3. Build relationships
Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.
4. Develop multiple passions
The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.
The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.
5. Build your character
Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character.
Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.
6. Be who you are
The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.
You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.
7. Live your life purpose
The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose.
To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to you and build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.
8. Count your blessings
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.
9. Have positive mind
It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.
Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.
10. Work creatively
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time.
11. Start with what you have
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.
12. Change
They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness.
13. Use your talents
True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.
There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.
14. Beware of small things
The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors,
This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.
15. Distill your ambitions
Where ambition ends happiness begins.
While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.
16. Make others happy
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.
17. Practice compassion
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.
But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.
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All in all, this quote by Aristotle can summarize the lessons above:
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
It’s you who decide whether or not you are happy in life.
I choose to be happy. What about you?